Acceptance
A key ingredient to a peaceful life.
What's Inside:
😌 Acceptance
🩺 Med-Diaries: #8
✏️ Insights - This week's podcasts, movies, books and other cool things
Acceptance
Life doesn't always go in the direction we want it to, but that doesn't mean we should swim against the tide. Sometimes (most of the time), it's better to ride the waves to see where they take you. In other words, accepting fate. That's part of the adventure of life, you never know where it's leading or what's right around the corner. I think Acceptance is one of the key ingredients of a peaceful life, so that's what I want to talk about today.
A passage from The Daily Stoic that I read this week. This was the inspiration for this post:
Just as we commonly hear people say the doctor prescribed someone particular riding exercises, or ice baths, or walking without shoes, we should in the same way say that nature prescribed someone to be diseased, or disabled, or to suffer any kind of impairment.
In the case of the doctor, prescribed means something ordered to help aid someone's healing. But in the case of nature, it means that what happens to each of us is ordered to help aid our destiny.
Marcus Aurelius
When a doctor prescribes you something for your illness, you take it and accept it's best for you. But when it comes to external events in life, we fight like hell if anything happens contrary to our plans.
What if nature's prescription is exactly what we need? What if that is the medicine for life? In that case, acceptance would be best for us.
I've done a fair share of battling with nature, even to this day I struggle with acceptance, although I know it's best for me. As a person who likes to plan my future, whether, in terms of career, character or relationships, I've done a fair share of battling with nature.
Oftentimes, life takes a left turn when I want to go right. It always begs the question, Why can't things just go the way I want them to?
Sooner or later, however, I realise that the left turn wasn't so bad and who knows, maybe I would have crashed somewhere along with the right turn.
There's a quote I always come back to when I think of acceptance. Although this quote is of Islamic origin, I believe anyone can and should adopt its teachings.
Perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah (God) Knows, while you know not.
In the moment it’s hard to see this, but I’m sure we all have scenarios in life where in hindsight, we can see why certain outcomes happened.
This takes me back to when I was first applying to university.
I wanted to go to Med school when I was 18. I didn’t get in.
I remember when I got the final rejection email and I had to break the news to my parents. As I told them, I broke down and cried, a lot. Life didn’t just take a left turn, it took a U-turn and continued for 1,000 miles.
Thankfully for me, my parents are wise and they had internalised the concept of acceptance. I remember them telling me, whatever happens, happens for the best. That was enough for them to be content with the outcome.
18 year old me was still upset.
Fast forward to today, at 23 I look back and I'm so glad I didn't get in. Life hasn't been easy until this point, but I wouldn't change a thing. If only I had accepted fate at the time, I could have saved myself from so much sadness and despair.
As you can tell, I still made it to Med School. That’s important in this lesson of acceptance. Acceptance doesn't always mean giving up. I wanted to be a Doctor and although I accepted at the time it wasn't happening, I still had hope in my heart that I could one day become one.
When you struggle with a situation that requires acceptance, the difficulty is more about letting the expectation and the outcome go rather than accepting your new reality.
Everyone who goes through loss of some sort knows deep down they’ll be okay, but we just want that thing or that person back.
I find comfort in knowing that you don't have to let the outcome go. You can still have hope of one day having that thing, but for now, you have to accept what is.
There’s another quote I think is fitting for this part:
"What is meant for you, will reach you even if it is beneath two mountains. What isn't meant for you, won't reach you even if it is between your two lips."
Ultimately, the lesson is to just accept what is.
In mindfulness, we speak about the present moment. The here and now. That's what acceptance is. It's living in the present.
Not in the past where you had something.
Not in the future where you wish to have something.
Just here and now, as things are.
Becoming content with what you have at this moment, is the crux of acceptance.
🩺 Med-Diaries #8
I’m in between a lot of formative exams lately, so last week I missed the blog post. I’m trying to keep consistent so I’m going to do a mid-week post on Wednesday to make up for the missed one. University is picking up - currently 39 days until my first exam so I know I need to get into the revision routine. I don’t get any time off between lectures and exams so it’s a grind right now. I’m just grateful to be in this position, although it’s hard work I’m very lucky to be where I am and it helps a lot when the content is interesting too!
What are you enjoying right now?
We just started my Neurology block 😍 I LOVE learning about the brain so I’m having the best of times studying these days. I’ve had the sudden urge to work really hard so I’m spending more time working and revising these days. I think I’m due a little break from socialising.
What are you looking forward to?
I have an Anatomy OSPE exam next week and I’m preparing for it properly. For my other formatives, I’ve been a little busy with outings etc so I didn’t give 100% (still passed Alhamdulillah) but there’s something about hard work paying off that makes me feel a different sense of happiness. I’m looking forward to that next week.
What is your biggest worry?
At the moment I’m contemplating visiting home before the true exam season begins. I think it would be nice to have a few days with my family, eat some home food and spend time with my siblings. But I don’t know if I can make the time for that without sacrificing some work. Visiting home is my motivation to get ahead of my work so as long as I can keep this up, things should work out okay.
✏️Insights
🎙️ Podcast: Listening the right way - Nouman Ali Khan
I’m halfway through this podcast which talks about listening. It’s easy to think we’re good listeners when we all have room for improvement. Hearing this podcast showed me the areas of my listening that I could work on. It’s a worthy listen.
📚 Book: Wherever you go, There you are
I’m 25% of the way through this book and it is amazing. I will be writing a post on mindfulness soon with some insights from the book. If you’re wanting to get a deeper understanding or an introduction to mindfulness and meditation, I highly recommend this book.
🎥 TV Show: You
I started watching you recently, I’m onto Season 2 now and I’m sort of losing interest but season 1 was amazing. I understand the hype now. The way it’s filmed, hearing the character’s internal dialogue is so interesting and unique. Also amazing how they make you feel sympathy for the psychopath?
🤔 Thoughts
I’ve spent the majority of my time at university this year with friends and at gatherings. It’s been nice but I’ve not had an awful lot of time alone. This week I spent a considerable amount of time alone and it brought up some interesting thoughts. All I’ve learnt is that it’s important to balance socialising with alone time, too much of either can be unhealthy.