How I Deal With Stress
My secret.
What’s inside:
🌡️ Stress management - How I deal with adversity
🩺 Med-Diaries #2
✏️ Insights - This week’s podcasts, movies, books and other cool things
🎨 YouTube: I’m working on a Day In My Life video which should be up in the coming week, for now this is my last upload 😄
This is how I manage stress, it’s something that works for me on most occasions and it’s quite belief orientated so it’s not for everyone. I hope it helps you, if not, I hope you find something else that does.
Stress
At low levels, stress isn't much of a bad thing. It plays a key role in the sleep-wake cycle and helps you react when a lion is chasing you, but too much of it can be a really bad thing.
I'm sure we're all familiar with the feeling of high level stress. It's not great, unless you're in a life threatening situation, it's of little use. It clouds your thoughts and makes it harder to concentrate, along with a load of other problems.
Stress is wanting something to be the way it isn't.
We feel stressed when something doesn't go the way we would have liked, which is natural, but unproductive. Particularly when the situation is out of your control.
If you're hungry and you don't have food, you can get up, go to the kitchen to get something to eat. The situation is within your control.
If it's raining and you want it to be sunny, the situation is not in your control. You can’t change the weather. This is the type of situation I want to focus on.
In the second situation, many of us resort to what I call the Self-destructive Path.
The Self-destructive Path
Many people who find themselves in undesired situations are unhappy, which is understandable, who wouldn’t be? But when the situation is out of your control, being stressed does very little other than causing discomfort.
When you can't control the situation, everything stays the same, so your stress isn’t going to go anywhere. What starts out as stress slowly manifests into anger, agitation and impatience if left too long. It’s like a ticking bomb in your head.
Sometimes we let the smallest inconveniences ruin our entire day, when we don’t really have to. That’s all down to the self destructive path.
I see a different pathway, one that is less self destructive and far more positive.
FYI: I don’t think it’s possible to ALWAYS opt for the latter, but it’s definitely worth trying. I’m aware that there are extreme circumstances where this isn’t really applicable but this isn’t about those times, I’m talking about day to day minor situations.
In short what I’m trying to say is this. When you feel stressed, ask yourself:
Can I do anything about this?
Yes: Go and do something about it.
No: Let it go and try to make the most of the situation you’re in.
What IS vs What IF
The situation you want to happen is the What IF?
When your dream job rejects you: What if I got that job?
When you’re late for work: What if I left on time?
The situation that you're in is the What IS.
You didn’t get the job.
You’re late for work.
This is what is actually happening right now.
You can choose to take this alternative path by choosing to focus on What is, rather than What if.
The word choosing is key there. This is a mindset shift and it’s possible to choose where your focus lies. It’s not easy, but it’s doable.
When something doesn't go your way, it's totally okay to spend time complaining about the mess you're in, we all love a good moan after all.
When the situation is out of your control, it's not really worth it. What you're doing is letting your negative emotions run your mind.
It can become habitual to sit with the negativity and let it marinate, but that’s not a healthy option.
Isolated, these little situations are quite insignificant, but it’s the build up of these small stresses that adds up to a whole lot of stress in the end.
This is something I've been trying to get comfortable with in the last few years. It's easier said than done, especially when you have your heart set on something and you don't get that thing. It can be devastating.
If you practice doing this every time you have a minor inconvenience, you will start to exercise your resilience and the next time you're faced with adversity, you'll find that you can cope much better. The stress will be short lived.
For me, this is one of the most practical life lessons to live by, albeit a difficult one to grasp.
One thing that helps me deal with difficult and unwanted scenarios is this quote.
Whatever happens, happens for the best.
I live by this. It's the core reason why I manage to minimise the stress in my life. I'm not phased by difficult scenarios as much as I used to be.
If I find that I am, then I remind myself that whatever happened, happened for the best.
4 years ago I was rejected from med school. I was crushed by the thought of not being able to pursue my dream job of being a doctor. Looking back now, I can see that it was better for me to be rejected than accepted.
I went into a different degree and I ended up making some great friends along the way. Little did I know that this scenario was actually a better outcome.
The hardest thing about taking on this mindset is that you can't see the future. You don't know what lies ahead, only what could have been.
Next time you find yourself dwelling on the past, remind yourself that whatever happens, happens for the best. It may not be clear now, but in time it will be. Try to focus on what IS rather than what could have been and hopefully you will find your life a little less stressful.
🩺 Med-Diaries #2
Date of entry: 20/03/21
This was the final week of lectures for first year and as they say, it went so fast! That's 20% of medical school (almost) done, I still need to pass the exams in May🤞🏾
The last 2 weeks were quite hectic, we had mock exams on Anatomy and the CVS all while carrying on with the onslaught of lectures so it's nice to be done with all of that.
In med school they examine you on every module as soon as you're done to give you a flavour of the exam, which isn’t great given the lack of preparation time.
I wrote a reminder before I sat my exams: ‘I am unprepared. If I do badly then it’s okay and it is down to the time limit, not my ability’. Bad grades even on a mock exam can affect me negatively, so little reminders like this are important.
Now I have 6 weeks off until the REAL exams so I can take a breather and pace myself - a nice change.
It feels weird to be almost ending year one, I barely know the people in my course and I've been into uni only a handful of times, so I'm just looking forward to Year 2 and hopefully a more interactive experience!
If there's one thing that's stuck with me this week it's to try to have moments of enjoyment each day. Evidently time goes very fast so I want to make sure I make the most of my time as a medical student.
As a graduate I know full well how adult life hits you when you graduate, so next year I'll be trying my best to make the most out of having thousands of other students around me!
Until next week, stay healthy 😄
✏️Insights of the Week
🎙️Podcast: The Huberman Lab Podcast
Links: YouTube, Website, Spotify
From the website: The Huberman Lab Podcast discusses Neuroscience: how our brain and its connections with the organs of our body controls our perceptions, our behaviours, and our health. We also discuss existing and emerging tools for measuring and changing how our nervous system works.
I started listening to this today and oh my god. I think I found the perfect podcast for me.
I LOVE neuroscience and anything to do with behaviour and the brain, this podcast is exactly that.
It's not just neuroscience but also full of practical advice on how you can live better - each month they have a different theme. I'm on the first month (January) which is all about sleep, circadian rhythms, routine and how to optimise them all with evidence based tips. Super good listen.
📽️ Netflix: The One (Series)
If you like Black Mirror and Sci-Fi type movies you will enjoy this. In a nutshell it's about scientists who discover a biological method of finding out who your One true love is. No more tinder, bad dates or break ups, just let science do the hard work. Of course problems arise but I don't want to spoil anything. I really liked it, I managed to start and finish it within 5 days which is record breaking for me. I'm super slow at watching series.
📚 Show Your Work
This is a must read for all creators. It's so well written and it really sparked my motivation to create and share my work (hence why I'm working on a regular YouTube schedule). I'll be writing a summary of this soon so I'll keep this short but look out for that on the blog!