Be Nice
Lessons a stranger taught me.
Hi! Welcome to another edition of Daanish Writes, the weekly newsletter where I share ideas about personal growth, life design and my thoughts.
This week we're talking about: 1) Being nice to others and 2) Gratitude.
This week's post was inspired by an event from earlier in the week - I have a nice little story to share with some insights at the end.
As usual I begin with my intentions: I'm taking a relaxed approach today. Nothing too analytical. Just a little story about a nice man, with some insights.
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So I moved to Aberdeen last week, I was going to my new gym, which is a 30 minute walk away.
I thought to save time I'd jog on my way there and treat that as a warm up.
I set off running. 12 minutes later I was at the gym, I signed in and went up to do my workout.
As I finished, I took a nice relaxed stroll back to my flat (30 minutes), only to reach my door and realise...
I don't have my flat keys.
I checked every pocket 3 times over, jumped up and down hoping to hear that jangly sound - nothing.
Did I drop them on my run? Leave them in the gym? Who knows. My memory at this point was hazy.
Don't panic, I thought.
Just re-trace your steps and you'll find them. So that's what I set out to do.
I called the gym.
Hello, our phone lines are currently closed due to the COVID-19...
Fantastic :)
I caught a taxi back to the gym and managed to get in just before they closed, thank god.
I searched the place but had no luck.
I must have dropped them on my run.
So for the 4th time that day, I set off for a long 30 minute walk back to my flat.
This time in the dark, accompanied by the cold wind from the north sea, while I hopelessly waved my phone's flashlight at the floor on my way back.
As I got closer and closer to my flat I started giving up hope.
How could I be so careless. I always zip up my pockets. I never leave things lying around.
My years of extensive over-organisation had let me down. The OCD gods were frowning upon me.
Luckily I have a flatmate who happened to be on his way home, so I thought I'd wait around for him rather than call a locksmith.
It was awfully cold though and I didn't bring a jacket - I'm usually too hot to wear one after a workout.
I buzzed all of the flats in the building, hoping one saviour would open the doors saving me from hypothermia (I'm exaggerating it wasn't that cold).
To my surprise, an older gentleman came down and let me in. I explained my situation and said that I'd just wait in the stairs for my flatmate to arrive.
On our way up the stairs he said,
'Come to my place, watch TV.'
I tried not to be a burden on him but he insisted.
I entered his flat and sat in his living room with his family of 3 little children and his wife.
I've only been here a week, but being around a family and children was quite a nice change from my new environment.
I got talking to this polite man. As I got to know him more, he began to tell me his story.
He moved here from Africa (I can't remember which country) 10 months ago through a work opportunity. He told me he came from a third world country, one far less glamorous than the UK. He explained how his current job was a chance to move here and give his 3 children a good quality education - Something he didn't have in his youth. He told me how he wanted to study here, having already gained a law degree from his country of origin, but the extortionate international student fees were stopping him - Not to add the responsibility of providing for his family alongside.
I spent a good hour or so talking to this guy, (trying to) give him advice on accomplishing his dream to become a solicitor by showing him alternative routes and cheaper ways to study. His struggles and work ethic really got me into deep thinking.
Before he opened the door to me, when I was out in the cold, all I could think of was how I lost my key and how unfortunate I was. Having met this man and seeing the contrast of situations, I had a real change of heart.
I really noticed how fortunate I was.
How losing my keys was such a minor inconvenience which would be resolved within 24 hours. This was just one man, but I guarantee there are so many others like him and my heart felt heavy at the thought of that.
When my flatmate arrived, he let me into our place and it turns out I never even took my keys with me in the first place. So all of that searching was completely pointless. Note to self: Check your pockets wherever you go.
They say that everything happens for a reason. I would say the reason I left my keys at my flat was so I would end up meeting this man, who's story would give me a better appreciation of my privileged life.
It also taught my the value of helping people out. All he did was open the door for me, but it saved me from catching a cold and waiting outside. It wasn't just that he asked me to wait in his flat, he was so nice! He brought me ginger tea. When I took my shoes off he insisted I didn't have to. He asked if I wanted anything to eat. When we were talking he was listening with intent. Just an overall pleasant human being.
If there is anything valuable to take away from this post, it's this:
Be nice to people even if you don't know them. Offer a helping hand wherever you can. A small gesture from you might be huge to the receiving party.
Count your blessings. This experience really humbled me. Over the last few days I've really been appreciating the blessings I have. Read Issue #3 on Gratitude for more about gratitude.
Since this man was so welcoming and nice, I thought I'd get his children a game they can all play together, it's the least I can do for his politeness and hospitality. When someone does good for you, always do something good in return, and if someone buzzes your flat because they lost their key, let them in.
If you made it this far, thank you for taking the time out of your day to read this. I appreciate it more than I can put into words :)
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✏️Insights of the week:
💬QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
How do you stay motivated? Find an audience! Find customers! Once you have those you will stop asking. Being able to help people is better motivation than any routine, plan, or life hack.
A little reminder for myself. I'm not that motivated right now to record videos and produce content, but that doesn't matter, it's all about helping others. That's what keeps me going.
👁️INSIGHT: Follow your passion. I start university next week (finally doing the degree I want to do) and just reading about the modules is getting me excited. I actually want to study and do well. Had I not followed my passion, I wouldn't have this spark within me. So if you're lucky enough to have found your passion, follow it.
🎙️PODCAST: I listened to Episode #68 of the Knowledge Project this week - Daniel Kahneman: Putting Your Intuition on Ice.
Psychologist and Nobel laureate Daniel Kahneman reveals the actions we can take to overcome the biases that cripple our decision-making, damper our thinking, and limit our effectiveness. Listen and Learn from the master.
📚BOOK: I recently read The 4 Agreements, today I will be extracting the highlights from the book and writing up the key insights for an upcoming newsletter!
📖CURRENTLY READING: I've been a bit lazy with reading since moving to university. I'll hopefully start up again as I find my routine.
About the Author:
Daanish is a Biomedical Science Graduate and a Medical Student at the University of Aberdeen.
You can find him on 📽️YouTube, 🐦Twitter, 📸Instagram and 🤓LinkedIn.
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